#2 Goatees

Bald guys love shaving the sleaves off their beard and going with the sweater vest for the face.  There could be another website dedicated to what guys with goatees like, for example, Nascar, American Eagle and domestic violence.  The thinking behind giving oneself a goatee differs, but it ranges from, "I gotta look nice for my Blockbuster Video interview" to "I start community college tomorrow, I gotta do something different"  Regardless, hair must be located immediately around my mouth, but not on my cheeks, head or neck.

#1 Facial Hair

Just to prove that we can grow hair somewhere, bald guys love growing facial hair.  What this does is make the haircut about the entire face and not just the head (where a haircut is no longer needed)  While we feel like it takes attention away from the lack of hair on the part of the body where 80% of heat escapes from, it actually highlights it, like a florescent marker on an important piece of text that you don't want to forget.  For example, the Gettysburg address was delivered on the afternoon of Thursday, November 19, 1863, during the American Civil War, or Protons are observed to be stable and their theoretical minimum half-life is 1x10^36 years or "Hey, look at my facial hair, i can grow hair whereever i want, don't look at my head, damn it you looked at my head, im bald and now you'll never forget it."  Something bald guys like even more specifically...